John Reiser and His Celebrity Friends

Ahh yes its time for the much anticipated John "Big Jacque" Reiser blog entry. Well ok I might not call it much anticipated but I know it will not dissapoint.

During a recent family get together known as Thanksgiving, I was able to converse with my father on a few topics. Little did I know two of them would become the subject of my next blog. So lets cut to the chase. First a little history on my father, John Randall Reiser.

John Reiser is a modest man, with two children, myself and my older brother Tim. He has been married to my lovely mother, Rita for 27 years. My dad was born in the year of 1953 in Watertown, Wisconsin. He still resides here in southern Wisconsin to this day. While my dad may not have traveled far from his home, he has traveled the country on a few business trips. In his 53 years of living he has had the good fortune of meeting a few celebrities along the way.

If any of you know the Koshollek family you, you know their history and passion for photography. The Koshollek name and photography go together like peas and carrots. Anyhow Joe Koshollek the eldest son of the family worked for a Madison newspaper titled "The Badger Herald". His duty was to take photos of Badger sporting events, well how does my father play into this? My dad was Joe's camera bag bitch. Hell it got him on the sidelines every game day. Being so close to the action allowed my dad to meet many interesting people.

"Its electric in here" - Lynn Swann, those words actually spoken to my father during the historic Wisconsin vs. Iowa football game in which Ron Dayne set the all time career rushing record. Now this is only small time compared to my fathers other celebrity friends.

Ron Dayne happened to be the victim of my fathers enthusiasm once upon a time as well. In fact Joe took a picture of it. My father looks happy as can be in his avaitor Ray-Ban sunglasses. However Ron had a look on his face best described as "who is this tall white boy asking for my picture". Needless to say Ron did not smile. *On a side note my brother had frequently walked past Ron Dayne on his way to class, one day he musters up the courage to say hi to Ron. Tim claims he nodded his head back. I doubt it. Moral of all this, Ron Dayne does not like the Reisers.

"Hi hows it going"- now I am not sure exactly which one said this to my father or perhaps my father is the one who said it. My memory does not serve me too well, however, I do remember that the people my dad were talking to were none other than Madison natives, Tom Arnold (Best Damn Sports Show), and Christopher Farley (Almost Heros, Tommy Boy). Now being Madison natives and of course being famous they were allowed on the sideline of the games like my father was. On another side note, my girlfriend goes to the same church as Chris Farley's sister. I guess she look exactly like him. Anyways that makes the Reisers and Farley family close friends. Its too bad uncle Chris had to die, he always gave such great Christmas presents.

Ok, so far we have Lynn Swann, Ron Dayne, Tom Arnold, and Chris Farley. A far better list than I have compiled. I did see Jim reach out and touch Antwon Walker once. I dont think Twon liked it. Although what Jim lacks in the Walker department he makes up for in the McCullough department. In a sense here is how the conversation went with the former New Jersey net firecrotch center:

"Hey Todd you are on my fantasy team" - Jim
"Garrgyulllahhh" - Response by Todd. (It kinda sounded like the gurgling sound that came out of the guy who is poisoned in Dumb and Dumber)

Ok back to my father, now its time for the big guns. I had a really tough time deciding on which of these two final stories to put last however I think I mad the right choice.

Now if any of you have read my previous posts on Sharps blog or my first blog this will be very funny to you. If have read them then you know what is coming next, yes that is right my father has met the great and almighty, Matthew McConaughey (How to lose a guy in 10 days, Two for the Money, Stetson Spokesman). On a business trip in Baltimore, my father was sitting in the hotel lobby and happened to be there at the same time Mconadouche was promoting his new movie, "Two for the Money". Yeah it turns out Brandon Lange, I mean John Anthony, had himself a huge tour bus with the movie advertised all over it. It turns out he is very nice and signed autographs for everyone. I dont care the Reisers do not like the McConaugheys. End of story, I hope I need not mention this man ever again.

Now for the grand finally:

Once upon a time way before I was ever created my dad was a student at the UW. One day he happens to be shopping on State Street and wanders into a store. The store is having a sale and there are bins with piles of clothes in them. The bins happen to separate the clothes into sizes. Well if you dont know my father, he is very tall. In college he was very skinny. So his pants size was rather rare I assume. He walks over to his size bin and makes the remark to his girlfriend, Rita Dagget, there are no pants in his size, the bin is empty. "Here you can try these on" a voice calls out as a pair of jeans falls into my dads bin. He looks up and to his amazement it is none other than baby James. Yes that is right James Taylor (Fire and Rain, Mexico). Apparently he had just tried on the pants and decided not to purchase them. Needles to say my dad bought them without a doubt. Now when I think about it, my Dad and James are about the same stature and size back in the 70s. James had also done a show the night before in Madison. I did my best to find a picture of James from the 70s, I think I did a good job.

So why had I never heard about this till now? I don't really have an answer to that. Like I said my dad is a modest man. He loves his dog probably as much as James Taylor does (you need be a James Taylor fan to catch that one), he also loves his yuppie beer.

So that is it. I hope you were able to learn a little bit about my father. A few honorable mentions that failed to make the blog yet need mentioning are, Michael Finley, Rashard Griffith, and Dick Vitale. Make sure to tune in next week when I discuss the "What the Hell is that on your face?"